March Roundup, '21
I honestly don't know what to say about this month. It was a bit all over the place, but there's definitely plenty of goodness in there. As always, the extra good stuff's in bold. Go get yourself a vaccination and have a good TV day after that second dose, lovelies!
Oh, also, CBS All Access is Paramount+ now. I guess they got tired of being super lame! Look out for The Challenge: All Stars in April. And if you're not already watching The Real World: Homecoming, you're fucking up. Anyway, I digress...
Watch This Shit:
An engrossing sci-fi mystery on the 1st of the month? Okay, NBC, starting things off right! In a nutshell, this one is two federal agents dealing with a bunch of random-ass alien shit falling from the sky which is massively fucking with the people who find it.
The storytelling is good enough, but I am gonna need them to fix Jonathan Tucker's hair immediately. Please and thank you.
A great-great nephew (and his friend) of a missing man seek to solve the freezing cold 1934 case in this eight-episode docuseries. It's funnier than it should be, but I'm not actually mad at that.
Perfectly ridiculous queer teen dramz told in very not-annoying time jumps. (That's not sarcasm. The jumps are really satisfying. It's a whole thing.)
P.S. WHO IS GIVING BIRTH IN THE GOTDAMN MALL BATHROOM?! I need to know so badly.
John Wayne Gacy: Devil in Disguise
Peacock's getting in the true crime game with this six-episode docuseries chronicling the Killer Clown's crimes, time in prison, 1994 execution, and beyond. Spoiler alert: cops are garbage.
Some more true crime for you, this time in the document-falsifying, Mormon-bombing Utah insanity corner of the genre.
Listen, I know that as a society we really need to make an effort to move past superficiality, but... I'm a gay male cliché and I just cannot look away when there's a makeover. This first of this month's two new makeover shows (more on Shine True below) deals mainly with hair, but definitely goes beyond that.
The political underbelly of Santa's Workshop is exposed in this way-too-good quarter hour animated comedy.
Non-binary makeovers! Y'all, shit is so fucking cute. Get into it. As one of the two hosts puts it: clothes are a part of your expression that makes you feel how you want to feel in yourself. It's just beautiful. And definitely makes me feel real dumb about only thinking of makeovers superficially.
A hard and varied look at critical issues black Americans are forced to live and die through. The first episode (themed "Reckoning") unpacks the January 6th terrorist attack through an intimate conversation with a black Capital police officer who was on the front lines, John Legend is profiled, the question of why reparations is the only answer for a historically black Chicago suburb (and the first U.S. city to pass reparations legislation) is answered, Sunny Hostin moderates a discussion on patriotism at the "kitchen table," and black representation in cinema is chronicled.
Meh:
Shoutout to Daniel Fienberg for reading my mind: "Congratulations, Apple TV+, you've created a narrative podcast and attached a squiggly screensaver to it." The story told isn't necessarily a bad one, but it really has no business being told as a TV show.
So, this superhero show's being billed as "adult animation," buuuuut... the only real difference I noticed from Saturday morning cartoons is that they can say "asshole" in this one. In all honesty, if felt like Amazon wanted another The Boys, but sillier. That was until the last few minutes of the first episode when things got real extra gruesome.
I don't know, though. I'm torn. A tidbit of gore amidst a lot of somewhat bland storytelling does not an adult animation make, in my humble opinion. Though it's getting all kinds of rave reviews, so perhaps my humble opinion is very, very dumb.
This twist on Sherlock makes him a bit of a louse who, along with Watson, hires a group of London street kids to solve their mysteries, for which he steals all the credit.
As you may know by now, I'm not big on period pieces. This series is very Victorian, but the supernatural creepies mostly make up for the annoying old-timeyness. Mostly. (Except for the rich hemophiliac. Ugh, he's just the worst.)
Don't Watch This Shit:
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier
Who thought following up WandaVision with a fight against an anti-patriotism group would be a good idea? Read the room, Marvel. Patriotism's a fucking cult.
This docuseries does little more than give leading conspiracy theorists (a.k.a. violently delusional bigoted misogynists) a dangerously wider audience for six hours. Bad move, HBO.
Honorable Mentions:
Eric Andre, Lil' Rel, and Tiffany Haddish pranking people? I am all kinds of in.
A beautiful documentary chronicling the life of the Notorious B.I.G.
Look, the line between what's a TV movie and what isn't is very blurry these days, so I'll just say: if you haven't seen Coming to America, you're dumb. And if you're not planning on seeing Coming 2 America, you're dumber. Is it as good as the original? No. But it's real cute.
Shudder's really been on top of their shit lately. And this film's no exception. Without giving too much away (it really is best if you go into this one blind) I'll say that's it's basically an allegory for being a woman.
The second of two beautiful documentary offerings this month, this one chronicling the life of the iconic living legend, Tina Turner.
The second of Shudder's really fucking good film offerings this month. This one's a nuanced horror tale about a rape and its aftermath. The time jumps in this one don't always make it crystal clear exactly when things occurred, but it doesn't take away from the overall story at all.
The Shit I Missed:
This six-episode docuseries breaks down just a few of the modern atrocities black Americans have been forced to endure and continuously try to overcome.
Soledad O'Brien shows us up-close, personal, and painful stories of structural racism in America.
Maybe definitely recommend this series to the Falcon & Winter Soldier producers, hmm?
Originally premiering oversees back in 2019, this three episode docuseries about the murder of Elaine O'Hara made its US debut this month on SundanceNow.
Not to be that person, but on a tangential note... the shit Elaine's murderer said sounds a whole fucking lot like what Armie Hammer said to his victims. Here's hoping he gets locked up before he does any more damage.