October Roundup, '20
Welp, there's no greater evidence so far of Covid punching TV in the face than this month. The series selection is sparse, to say the least. But we did get quite a lot of choice films that earned themselves proper spots on the Honorable Mentions list. Here's hoping that list won't continue to be larger than the others in the coming months!
Watch This Shit:
Heads up, true crimers! Here's your entry for the month. [I'm not sure why she's doing it, but] Whoopi Goldberg narrates this docuseries showcasing a different tale each episode of con artists and their victims.
Woo-father-fuckin'-hoo, y'all! HBO Max gives us this dreamy gift of a miniseries, which is half documentary/half scripted starring LGBTQ+ folx reenacting seminal moments in queer history.
From what I've read, the series only covers the '40s through 1970. If HBO knows what's good for them, they'll throw all the money they need to at the directors to get additional seasons, diving even deeper into our history, from 1970 on to right fucking now.
A weirdo gives us viewers some sage advice, accompanied by lots of New York imagery to prove his points. I was for sure straddling the fence between kinda liking it and completely hating it, right up until the guy dressed like a hose. At that point, I was all in. I am an official John Wilson convert, kids. You should be too.
It's hard to judge an episodic anthology horror series when your whole deal is to only watch the first episode, but if the premiere of this one is any indication of what you can expect in the other episodes, it'll be super tense at times and equal parts incredibly depressing at others, but it's solid storytelling nonetheless. There's not much in the way of jump scares or even actual monsters (at least not in the "creature feature" sense). Simply put: real life is the horror show. And what it may lack in the general spookiness of its iconic TV predecessors, it definitely makes up for in quality.
Seduced: Inside the NXIVM Cult
Whereas The Vow takes a very broad, nine-episode (plus a-whole-nother season still on the way) look at NXIVM with the focus mainly on Sarah Edmondson and Mark Vicente, this four-episode docuseries focuses primarily on India Oxenberg. But, listen... I've said it before and I'll say it again: survivors deserve to be heard. Period. No matter what might get repeated from this docuseries to the next, the turmoil is different for everyone and they've earned the right to tell their stories, no matter what.
The anatomy of a song. Music buffs, this docuseries is for you.
Ghostfacers: UK. Broadband installers by day turn paranormal investigators by night. It's real cute and spooky.
Meh:
A brief history of the famed comedy club told in five hour-long episodes in between every comedian ever reminiscing. The roster is impressive, yes; but, to be frank, you can only hear someone say how great the place was/is so many times before you get bored.
According to the painfully gorgeous executive producer Nyle DiMarco, the goal of the series is "to show deaf people as humans, from all walks of life." But when you actually get down to it, it's really just showing that deaf college kids are horny as fuck too.
A new mom in town tries to be a part of the very wealthy PTA which includes Nicole Kidman, whom she takes quite the liking to. Before we can learn barely anything about her, other than her not being the slightest bit shy, she winds up murdered.
If the second season of Big Little Lies felt a lot less impactful than the first, then this new miniseries feels a lot like what a third season would. It's not terrible, but way more blah than wow.
Don't Watch This Shit:
NBC thought they needed their own version of quarantine "fun." In hiring a trans woman, they took one big step forward, but then took a massive step back by giving Drumpf an hour of free hate-mongering ad space, directly opposite Biden's town hall on ABC. So, in this particular case, I'm gonna agree with the star of the show: Fuck NBC.
Also a big NOPE.
This one was supposed to be the start of Marvel's "dark" TV universe on Hulu, but all other planned series have been scrapped at this point. And Marvel TV was essentially shutdown altogether mid-production of this one. So, it was (and certainly feels like it) finished because it had to be, but will likely lead to nothing. And it's a shame because it could have been great. The supernatural children of a serial killer hunting bad guys? Sounds like a mighty fine Dexter reboot. But what we've been given is a pair of unlikable characters dealing with some fairly boring possession nonsense.
And, I mean... y'all know I love me some horror more than anything else. But this just ain't it, kids. Stick with the honorable mentions below for the good scares.
Welp, since The Astronaut Wives Club didn't do so well, they figured putting the focus back on the almighty menz was the way to go. It promises to be a more "gritty" account of things, but it's Disney so... I guess they'll say "heck" every once in a while. Pass.
I suppose it was just a matter of time before Netflix, also thinking wrongly, that they needed their own fictional version of what we're all actually going through. They didn't get the memo about the other versions that no one really gave a shit about.
A truly exhausting drama anthology about a near-future in which a "soul gene" has been discovered and is used to find your actual soulmate. Each episode just seems to say, in one way or another, "Blah blah blah, marriage is bullshit, blah blah."
Honorable Mentions:
American Selfie: One Nation Shoots Itself
2020: The Documentary. A harrowing up-close account of the nightmare we've all been experiencing.
Hair Texture Discrimination: The Horror Movie. Honestly, this one is next. level. horror. A wannabe-VJ working at a late '80s MTV competitor gets herself a vampire gremlin weave. (Yes, you read that right.)
It's getting a somewhat tepid response with the main complaint being something like: "It doesn't do a good enough job teaching me why 'good' hair is so iMpOrTaNt!" So I'll just say this: a movie involving a single aspect of culture does not have the responsibility of being a history lesson. Google's for everyone, lazy.
Amazon's sci-fi horror offering about a father having difficulty regaining his memory after a car accident that killed his wife. The story takes quite a turn. It's a little bit of Total Recall meets a little bit of Get Out and maybe even a little bit of Frankenstein. Really, though, it's low-key about the unending strength black girls are forced to have.
Ooh-wee, do I love me some anthology films. And so does Hulu. Their monthly series has stalled due to Covid, but they've managed to give us this spooky multi-story film that will give you proper October chills. Plus, there's plenty of man-booty and just the ever-so-slightest hint of cock and balls.
I've always been a Chelsea fan, so naturally I gave her new stand-up special a watch. But, gurl, you really should too. In between all the laughs, we essentially get a fly-on-the-wall view of her therapy sessions, and I'll be damned if that shit wasn't cathartic as fuck.
Devil's Road: The True Story of Ed and Lorraine Warren Episodes
For all you Conjuring fans, this Halloween treat of a documentary dives into the prolific paranormal investigators who inspired the films and details some of their most high-profile cases.
After the loss of her mother, a less-than-successful playwright on the cusp of turning 40 decides to become a rapper. It's deeply reminiscent of Spike Lee's early films and will definitely suck you in. It clocks in at about 2 hours and I still wanted more.
Big Freedia takes on gun violence in New Orleans and replaces the headlines of this epidemic with the human faces of those directly affected by it.
Refugees: The Horror Movie. One hell of a slow burn with more than a few terrifying gut punches along the way. Plus there's Wunmi Mosaku, who can do no wrong.
The Osbournes: Night of Terror
If you've read the past roundups, you know I've got a deep desire to hang out with the Osbournes. So, them doing a paranormal investigation together is absolutely my cup of tea.
The Shit I Missed:
Scotland's Jeffrey Dahmer is the center of this three-part true crime serial killer drama. David Tennant is way too good at playing a creep. It's fucking unsettling.
Anyway, this one premiered last month on ITV, but is only just this month getting its US premiere via SundanceNow.
This UK offering which premiered all the way back in May of last year finally got it's US debut this month on the Travel Channel. It's different paranormal investigators travelling the globe looking into "proof" of the paranormal that was previously caught on camera. Proper creepy October fun!
This one slipped by me because... I'm in my 30's. I'm not trying to fuckin' Snapchat, y'all. That shit ain't for me. But being a big found footage fan, I recently looked back at the V/H/S film series and in doing so found out about the brief "Snapchat Original" which put out four episodes back in 2018, continuing the V/H/S anthology legacy. Now, full disclosure: I have not seen all of the episodes. ('Cause, I'm being serious: I'm not gonna fucking download Snapchat. Stop trying to make fetch happen.) But one of them has since been released as a director's cut and it was quite an enjoyable bite-sized piece of horror. Give that one a watch, if nothing else. (I sure wouldn't blame you for passing up the rest, you grown-ass adult you.)
The Shit I'm Not Sure About, but Am Telling You to Maybe Watch Anyway:
The Walking Dead: World Beyond
Walking Dead: The Teen Years. I mean... maybe watch it if you haven't already gotten completely exhausted by the original series? Personally, I officially quit when Carl died (yeah, bitch, SPOILER!), but if you've stuck with it, then you might like seeing a bunch of kids he could've hung out with. Be warned, though: no one seems to really be loving it.