July Roundup, '20
You'd think Covid would've slowed down premieres by now, but... nope. Lots of shit still coming out. And not a single "Meh!" (I think that's a first 'round here.) There's also yet another streaming service in NBC's Peacock (which hasn't yet offered much in the way of choice original programming). Anyway, let's dive on in, shall we?
Watch This Shit:
Travel Channel's stepping their haunted pussy up with this one. "Real events... corroborated by witnesses, archival film, and documentation." Let's be really real, though... the archive footage is bullshit. They've just got two sets of actors playing the same scenes, The Fourth Kind-style. (i.e. "Charlene Daniels" in the series, based on Christene Skubish in real life.) But, honestly, I don't mind. It's nice and spooky.
I mean, duh, of course you should watch this one. But, y'all... weren't Canadians supposed to be nicer than, like, literally everyone else? The judges are really going in. When there's a panic attack and the need to say "You know we're just trying to help you be better, right?" in the FIRST episode, maybe think about toning it down a bit, k?
Anyway, those of us in the states can watch it on WOW Presents+.
Amy Schumer: The Pregumentary. (Yeah, I just typed that.) The three episodes follow Amy through her pregnancy and the creation of her Growing special and... every woman is stronger than any man ever. Full stop.
Four high school Brits, and unlikely allies, secretly form the "Don't Get Mad" club with revenge in mind. They avenge the harmed by exposing the wicked. It's badass YA dramz and it's a good time.
Helter Skelter: An American Myth
Setting itself apart from the forty-seven-million other Charles Manson documentaries that make you want to scream "JESUS CHRIST, THERE CAN'T POSSIBLY MORE STORY TO TELL ABOUT THIS PSYCHOTIC, EGOMANIACAL, RACIST PIECE OF DIRT, QUIT MAKING THIS SHIT..." this 6-part docuseries consists almost entirely of archival footage and photography which does give quite a unique insight into the cult, their crimes, and the period in which they occurred. For that reason alone I'm recommending this, but don't believe the hype, true crime junkies: you won't actually learn anything new.
Creepy shit that happened to people in hotels? Narrated by Dan Aykroyd's ghost-hunting ass? YES, PLEASE. Obviously.
Autism and Relationships: The Docuseries. It's real cute and squishy.
The Muppets meets YouTube.
Following suit with The New Yorker, NYT continues to take on TV (after their Weekly series) with this monthly anthology series. The premiere episode is a first-person account of the medical professionals battling Covid-19 in the US.
The Oprah Winfrey Show meets Zoom. Get into it.
A Texas high school football player is falsely accused and convicted of raping a child. Years later, he's fully exonerated. This five-part docuseries examines the local culture surrounding the case and the insidiousness of the criminal justice system.
This "neon noir" series shows what life is like behind the curtain at a Mississippi strip club, owned and operated by Uncle Clifford. (She's. Fucking. Amazing.)
A sitcom about parents who hate everything? I'm in. Especially when one of their kids is a creeper obsessed with dead things! A girl after my own horror heart.
As you may or may not know, I make it a point to not review "reboots" of series that are simply continuations of the original (i.e. Will & Grace, Roseanne, etc.), but I just have to talk about this one because it's fucking outstanding. True '90s kids know: Unsolved Mysteries was the shit. True crime greatness presented by a creepy grandpa in a trench coat... What's not to love? Plus it's goal was to actually assist in solving the unsolved cases with the help of the viewers. Presenting it now via Netflix with their unprecedented reach to audiences, I can only imagine how quickly they'll be making follow-up episodes. I'm. So. Into. It. It's. Crazy.
If they knew what's good for them, they'd throw every dollar they had at getting all the old episodes streaming. Don't worry, though, because all of the old episodes appear to be up on YouTube for free. So, congrats, you've got the next few months of quarantine figured out, folx!
Buffy meets Jesus. There are prophecy dreams, potential slayers, a chosen one (with super-strength and quick-healing abilities), a watcher, a mini-Xander, a drunk Willow at a Bronze, a Cordelia with minions (one of whom might be an Angel/Riley/Spike/maybe-even-Parker?), and, duh, baddies (there's, like, this weird red mist thing... so cool). Plus a whole bunch of Catholic/Da Vinci Code shit mixed in. IT'S. FUCKING. AMAZING.
Don't Watch This Shit:
So, uh... Ninja Warrior meets water sports, I guess? I mean... I just... I can't y'all, lol. This cute little gay with lips for days (who I've been instastalking since D-Railed) makes an appearance at some point, so maybe look out for that? But also, no. Don't. This shit's mad stupid. (Sorry, Logan.)
*insert punching myself in the fucking face emoji here*
A 30-something couple are raising a 5-year-old, kinda sorta with their divorced friends. And it's animated. Therefor... "hilarious?"
I really don't understand why it's getting as much praise from critics as it is. Maybe actually currently being a 30-something is skewing my perspective toward pretty much hating this? Or maybe it's just not that funny.
Stop. Putting. This. Man. On. Camera.
Honorable Mentions:
Beyoncé's been living that Lion King life extra hard. So much so that in addition to releasing The Gift last year, she also expanded it into this, her next visual album. It's a love letter to Africa and a particularly timely work uplifting black voices and lives.
Extraordinary People: My Pregnant Husband
TLC did three "Extraordinary People" specials, but this one really stood out for me. It tells the tale of two trans men living the new normal as they prepare for, and eventually do, give birth. It's pretty fucking magical, y'all.
Mucho Mucho Amor: The Legend of Walter Mercado
The life and times of this psychic TV kween, who was a staple in Latin households, mine included. (Though my family loved to ridicule him for his ostentatious nature. Which was great for me, the young gay boy just trying to be fabulous and shit.)
Anyway, Walter, Don Francisco, and Cristina were my Spanish holy trinity. If Netflix is smart, they'll make docs about them as well.
Andy Samberg (the way-too-casual dude at a wedding) drunkenly dances his way into Cristin Milioti's (the cool chick at a wedding) own drunken corner of the party and then gets, uh... hunted while they're making out. This is promptly followed by him crawling into a creepy-ass cave and waking up the morning of the wedding, Groundhog Day-style. Things went a bit awry, unusually for dear Andy, because this time Kristen gets sucked into the cave too. It's super silly and funny and you get to see Andy's tits and ass, so... thumbs up.
Child Stardom: The Documentary.
A portrait of Michael Tubbs, the first African American mayor of Stockton, CA.
It also serves as the jumping-off point for HBO's digital social justice series which will see activists in conversation about topics such as activism, voting rights, the school to prison pipeline, and more. They'll be released on social media and HBO's site through August 5th, so keep a lookout for those.
The Shit I Missed:
A whole bunch of Brits, seemingly destined to fulfill every horror movie character trope, fill up a murder mystery summer camp in this fucking ridiculous and outstanding game show.
It aired back in October in the UK, but only just got it's US premiere this month on the CW.
Unidentified: Inside America's UFO Investigation
If you didn't know, Tom DeLonge quit Blink-182 to secretly investigate UFOs with top US government officials. (Yes, this is real life.) This series, which premiered in May 2019, finally crossed my path when I was in the mood for more creepiness than I've been getting. (Where you at, Travel Channel?)
Anyway, it's trippy shit. Less alien-y than terrorist threat-y, but still worth a watch. The second season premiered on the 11th of this month.